May 20th, 2010: Just another typical day in my life. But wait something exciting is on the cards. Its been a whole year that my husband and I have been apart, separated not just by a few miles but by continents. I am excited and dare I say feeling even a wee bit happy to be back home and reclaiming my life. Happy to be be back in my own house, my own bed and in my own kingdom :-)

Can one really forgive if one can't forget?

Been hearing the old adage 'forgive and forget' all my life but I never thought forgetting would be so much harder than forgiving. Is it true that as we grow older our relationships become more complex and as a result our expectations change. Take marriage for instance. Now how many times has this happened to couples all over the world - you have been dating this friend for years, you have lived in-lived out, fallen in love, fallen out of love, broken up and patched up your relationship half a dozen times already before you decide to get married. And then, all of a sudden things change. Suddenly the woman finds the man takes her more and more for granted. The man starts to feel his spouse is getting more and more demanding, some will say high maintenance. But it isn't really the people who changed, it was the relationship that changed and created a new equation. An equation that just complicates our emotions and expectations and as a result our relationship. Six month's back it felt so intimate to arrive at your boyfriend's place, find it in a mess and just fix it for him. How cute, how romantic. Six months later, its not that cute or romantic anymore to come home from work everyday and not find a corner in the home thats tidy enough for you to relax thanks to the same boyfriend now turned husband. Why I ask myself do little things become larger than life? Why are we not willing to compromise at the same level with our spouses as we did for our partners.......

Its when the relationship equation changes that it becomes more and more difficult to forget. Expectations and desires shape and color every interaction we have. So while we may forgive, we don't really forget that our expectations were not met, our desires less than fulfilled.

Personally, I would like to overcome this barrier. When I forgive I also want to forget. My quest to overcome this obstacle is on.