Beginnings

For a while now I have been itching to put my thoughts down. Not because I have an urge to write but because I have an urge to vent. At this juncture in life, I wonder why I have this sudden feeling of loneliness, of watching my life go by while I can' do a thing about it. Can't realize the dreams I dreamt, can't be the lover I dreamt I'd be, can't be the love I had dreamt I would be, can't be the friend I want to be. Why, oh why, do I find myself encircled with friends and family, with near and dear ones and yet I am overcome with this feeling of suddenly having been left behind in a corner  like the sluggish, meandering river that has just hit the plains while life flows by like a young gurgling stream hurtling down the mountain.